Search This Blog

Sunday, 11 July 2010

I'm Bored

Well I figured...I have a blog..I may as well update it with what I am doing as well as my story. Makes it more interesting I suppose.
You may also notice I do not use proper punctuation in my blog posts lol Story-YES Blogs-NO...Strange but true

Currently listening to a bit of AC/DC(I love that band) at 20 to 1 in the morning lol Gotta pack for holiday tomorrow :D Not an amazing holiday(a week at a holiday park in Paignton) but it get's me away from Yeovil so s'all good :)

No internet for a week :O But I have my trusty iPhone so not all bad...

Could do with some followers though ;)

It's Been A While

So I haven't blogged for ages. I recently wrote a bit more of my "bible" ;) But what with being busy all the time I usually end up writing in the early hours of the morning.
Thought I would add the second chapter to this blog.
Even if noone reads it...I have somewhere on the internet to put my slightly odd story aha

So..
Chapter 2...

Chapter 2: The Birth of a Weirdo (85:92)

Several weeks later the child was due. Neither Virginia nor Joseph owned an NHS medical card, so they decided to have a very original birth at a local bed and breakfast (free toast included). However they were horrified to find that when they arrived, all the rooms were booked.
“I’m having a baby!” Virginia screamed. “Give me a god damn room.”
“I’m afraid you will have to leave. Every room is being used.” The owner explained.
“Fuckkkkkkkkkkk!!” Virginia screamed again. “It’s coming.”
Virginia and Joseph eventually left the B&B to search for another; however every one in the area was full.
After much searching the couple found an old abandoned barn, which smelt like things that were once living, to have the baby in. Not a very healthy environment to have a baby in at all. Virginia screamed as the baby was born.
“Fuck, how big is this God child?” She shouted.
Eventually the baby was born and Virginia held it carefully in her arms.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door of the stable.
“Who is it?” Joseph asked.
He was worried it might be the police, as they were clearly disobeying the law by squatting in the stable.
“We are the three wise men.” One man replied.
“Well you sound drunk. Piss off! My wife has just had a baby!” Joseph shouted angrily, but the men did not turn away.
Suddenly the door swung open and three men came crashing through it.
“We have just followed a very bright star for 50 miles, my feet are aching and you won’t even let us see that flipping baby!” The first man said.
“Actually that was a helicopter mate.” Replied the second man sarcastically. “Did you not notice it was moving?”
“Regardless, we have still walked for 50 miles. I’m getting too old for all these silly journeys.”
The three wise men walked over to the manger that held the baby and looked down.
“Ugly fucker isn’t it!” The third man laughed.
Virginia looked shocked, but decided to ignore the insulting comment, when she noticed the gold in the hand of one of the wise men.
“So how is it you hobos came across that gold and other various objects you appear to be holding?” asked Virginia as she gazed at them in awe.
“Oh this piece of junk?” replied one of the wise men.
“Junk! That’s not junk. That’s a very valuable item!” Virginia shouted furiously.
The wise man looked confused and slightly startled.
“No, no, no, we found it on Ebay a couple of weeks ago. The stupid seller listed it as real gold. Fucking gold my arse; it’s gold plated.” He explained.
“Well I hope you left them negative feedback!” replied a shocked Virginia.
A long winded conversation about Ebay commenced, until finally the three wise men handed over the pieces of worthless junk and (in a not so wise way) exited the stable via the floorboards.
Virginia and Joseph soon started to discuss names for the new born child, and although there was much arguing, they came up with a rather interesting one.
“What about Ronald?” Joseph suggested.
“Ronald? Don’t be so silly, that’s an awful name.” Replied Virginia. “How about Jesus?”
“Jesus?” he asked curiously.
“Yes, Jesus Christ.” Said Virginia.
“Jesus Christ! What a fucking stupid name! How do you think of these ridiculous things?” He moaned.
They eventually decided on the name Octibuddhus for the ugly looking baby. The first part of the name was given to him for a simple reason, due to the amount of little arms and legs that had grown from his body. Four arms and four legs. However, unlike the first part of his name, the second part had no meaning at all, but both Joseph and Virginia thought it sounded funny, and agreed that it would be a good laugh to add it on the end. Octibuddhus was born.

Thursday, 18 March 2010

YES! 1 Follower

Although it doesn't really count as my 1 follower is my friend lol Shame on me...Should find some followers I don't know...But then again a follower is a follower :) Unless one takes that extra mile and becomes a stalker...then that's a different matter..

So to anyone who may be reading this please follow me :) Thank you

I'm off to bed...Am knackered

Monday, 15 March 2010

Wow I Have No Followers...

Yet! haha
So I have no followers...I don't know how to advertise this thing.
I could buy a domain but would that really get me more advertisement? I don't think it will to be honest.

Just been clicking "next blog" at the top of the page(out of boredom) and the amount of religious blogs I came across was shocking :O Ah well whatever floats your boat :)

I'm really hoping someones reading this???

Listening to Marilyn Manson at the mo :D Good stuff ;) Check it out!

Sunday, 14 March 2010

Chapter 1: The First Testament of Octibuddhus (11:56)

Octibuddhus was a special child. His parent (we believe there was only one) knew this even before he was born.
His mother Virginia (nicknamed Virgin by her many friends) was an only child, who grew up in a slightly dysfunctional family and home, consisting of a mother who worked on corners, and a father who was never around. As she grew up she went to several different schools (all in barns) that were awful and at the age of 17 she met a man, who looked very much like a hobo. He had a long hairy beard and wore a multi-coloured coat. He went by the name of Joseph and they became lovers.
One day Virginia had an exceedingly strange evening, which not only involved several pints of Carlsberg Export but also led to the start of a new life. Stumbling home in the morning, Joseph asked her “Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick.” Of course Virginia was completely delirious and told Joseph a very imaginative excuse.
“Oh, well….”She said. “I saw a bright light and some gleaming person in the sky told me I was with child, a special child.”
“You mean to say you’ve been out all night making love to ANOTHER man?” Joseph shouted furiously.
“It is God’s child.” Virginia lied cautiously.
“You should have said.” Joseph replied. He was now very relieved, but how bloody thick was this Joseph bloke?
Anyway we are led to believe this was God’s child, and so tells this story in the following chapters….

Hey ;) I'm New Here

So as you all can see this is my first post ;) Yay for me...But i obviously have no followers whatsoever at the moment...
I created this blog in order to share my creative talent for writing...or not so creative depending on what sort of stuff you like to read aha
Basically T.P.O.C.C.Y stands for The Power Of Christ Compels You. A famous quote from the film THE EXORCIST. The fact that I am using it for the title of my blog(and my story) is probably against copyright lol But I suppose it will do for now.
So i started this story a while ago. It's a comedy that is loosely based around stories in the bible. Obviously being the anti-religious type I have NEVER read a bible and therefore I only know of various stories due to being taught religious studies/education(whatever its called) at school. Due to this the parts of the story are not quite accurate haha but being a comedy it's not meant to be.
Umm so I have written several chapters but still need to write a lot more.
I am going to post a chapter each week on this blog and that will also give me some incentive to write more of it ;) I hope.
Any criticism is good as long as it is constructive ;) Also could do with some more ideas for further chapters...
This is not meant to offend anyone religious but of course if you do find it offensive please leave my blog :) No hard feelings eh?
First chapter coming up ;)
By the way if you are reading this on the off chance..give us a bit of advertisement and send it to your friends... Thank you :)
Katie