It's Been A While

So I haven't blogged for ages. I recently wrote a bit more of my "bible" ;) But what with being busy all the time I usually end up writing in the early hours of the morning.
Thought I would add the second chapter to this blog.
Even if noone reads it...I have somewhere on the internet to put my slightly odd story aha

So..
Chapter 2...

Chapter 2: The Birth of a Weirdo (85:92)
Several weeks later the child was due. Neither Virginia nor Joseph owned an NHS medical card, so they decided to have a very original birth at a local bed and breakfast (free toast included). However they were horrified to find that when they arrived, all the rooms were booked.
“I’m having a baby!” Virginia screamed. “Give me a god damn room.”
“I’m afraid you will have to leave. Every room is being used.” The owner explained.
“Fuckkkkkkkkkkk!!” Virginia screamed again. “It’s coming.”
Virginia and Joseph eventually left the B&B to search for another; however every one in the area was full.
After much searching the couple found an old abandoned barn, which smelt like things that were once living, to have the baby in. Not a very healthy environment to have a baby in at all. Virginia screamed as the baby was born.
“Fuck, how big is this God child?” She shouted.
Eventually the baby was born and Virginia held it carefully in her arms.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door of the stable.
“Who is it?” Joseph asked.
He was worried it might be the police, as they were clearly disobeying the law by squatting in the stable.
“We are the three wise men.” One man replied.
“Well you sound drunk. Piss off! My wife has just had a baby!” Joseph shouted angrily, but the men did not turn away.
Suddenly the door swung open and three men came crashing through it.
“We have just followed a very bright star for 50 miles, my feet are aching and you won’t even let us see that flipping baby!” The first man said.
“Actually that was a helicopter mate.” Replied the second man sarcastically. “Did you not notice it was moving?”
“Regardless, we have still walked for 50 miles. I’m getting too old for all these silly journeys.”
The three wise men walked over to the manger that held the baby and looked down.
“Ugly fucker isn’t it!” The third man laughed.
Virginia looked shocked, but decided to ignore the insulting comment, when she noticed the gold in the hand of one of the wise men.
“So how is it you hobos came across that gold and other various objects you appear to be holding?” asked Virginia as she gazed at them in awe.
“Oh this piece of junk?” replied one of the wise men.
“Junk! That’s not junk. That’s a very valuable item!” Virginia shouted furiously.
The wise man looked confused and slightly startled.
“No, no, no, we found it on Ebay a couple of weeks ago. The stupid seller listed it as real gold. Fucking gold my arse; it’s gold plated.” He explained.
“Well I hope you left them negative feedback!” replied a shocked Virginia.
A long winded conversation about Ebay commenced, until finally the three wise men handed over the pieces of worthless junk and (in a not so wise way) exited the stable via the floorboards.
Virginia and Joseph soon started to discuss names for the new born child, and although there was much arguing, they came up with a rather interesting one.
“What about Ronald?” Joseph suggested.
“Ronald? Don’t be so silly, that’s an awful name.” Replied Virginia. “How about Jesus?”
“Jesus?” he asked curiously.
“Yes, Jesus Christ.” Said Virginia.
“Jesus Christ! What a fucking stupid name! How do you think of these ridiculous things?” He moaned.
They eventually decided on the name Octibuddhus for the ugly looking baby. The first part of the name was given to him for a simple reason, due to the amount of little arms and legs that had grown from his body. Four arms and four legs. However, unlike the first part of his name, the second part had no meaning at all, but both Joseph and Virginia thought it sounded funny, and agreed that it would be a good laugh to add it on the end. Octibuddhus was born.